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welcome...
I'm really glad to see you
here!
You've found your way to
the emotional feelings network of sites
"emotional feelings, 3"
What was once - (5 years ago) - only
"anxiety understanding"
is now an entire network of self-help personal growth & recovery journey informational
websites.
kathleen
Why would someone spend
1000's of hours designing & keeping up these websites to offer free information to others?
I have to reply - "You're absolutely right! It
does take many, many hours each day to work on these sites. I'm a mother, a wife & an individual who has tons of
personal work to do as well as the usual family responsibilities!
How would I find the time?
Why do I do it? I use the opportunity to combine
my own recovery - personal growth journey with an important concept that I've made a commitment to:
"Helping yourself thru helping others..."
I was so excited when after years of searching for the answer to my everyday question, "What's
wrong with me?" that I felt determined to show others that if you don't quit & you know the path to take, you can find your answers as well!
My immediate concern was " mental health." While I didn't know what was wrong with me, I did have one medical specialist tell me that my physical pain was due to
a "mental problem."
Just as you may have seen recently on either public service television commercials
for depression or in your doctor's office waiting room; mental illness can manifest itself in physical symptoms that include many sources
of discomfort. I was also experiencing the symptoms of " irritable bowel syndrome," that had started early on in my life.
So I started with the mental health site that now exists within the network:
I've reached a point in my own personal recovery & growth journey that I believe I can describe accurately most of the emotions & feelings within the emotional feelings network of sites without using any information from anyone
else.
But since the ruination of the " extremely emotional"
site - I had to stop & ask myself - remembering to be aware & mindful of what's happening in my present moment -
"Why did this happen to me?" (the unreasonable ruin of my site, of
course!)
or - Choosing to seek a positive return for a negative energy passing my way - what would the positive ramifications be of having to go through every single page of a network of 28+ sites to delete the links to my ruined site?
Geez... now that I think of it... I've asked myself that question quite a few times before... "Why did this happen to me?"
& I searched & searched for an answer, wasting time & positive energy on something very simple... Life is what's happening. Just look to find the positive about it instead of the negative!
This is what I am looking for now in all aspects of my life. I'm looking for the " positive" reasons things happen. I remember what I've learned from my past to be prepared to have to confront negativities with my re-gained " power & control" on my side now instead of the enemy; but I choose now to look upon the face of countenance instead of upheaval.
After pondering a few days on this subject, while going through every page
of the emotional feelings site - here - to unlink all the emotion & feelings words " s" thru the end of the alphabet - I realized something magnificent.
"This is my opportunity to take the time to check ALL linked words to be
sure they're being directed to the correct places. This is my opportunity to re-check spelling & grammar. This is my opportunity
to try to express in my own words - the most meaningful knowledge I've recently acquired!
I'll write what I've learned about the whole cake, almost 6 years of growth - not
just reveal a the first piece of the cake! - I still offer other author's works to explain situational inferences
to emotions & feelings!
I'll try to the best of my ability to explain the importance of every emotion & feeling. I'm honored you chose the emotional feelings network of sites to visit!
kathleen
There's a new site in the network! I am almost finished completing each
page, but I can't wait anymore to tell you all about it! Please pay it a visit soon! It's an important topic!
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After keeping
records of the number of visitors to each emotion or feeling page within emotional feelings,
3 - it occurred to me that there are some important emotions & feelings in this website that need to be considered!
While you're here why not
check out some of these very important emotions & feelings to see if any of the information you find can help you in your
daily life! Mothers and fathers, teachers or even leaders in the community - how many of us have felt belittled in our everyday dealings with people we encounter?
Are we projecting ourselves
in our communications with our children or other family members in the same way causing them to feel belittled as well?
While you're here - check out some of the other pages to see if there's
any emotions or feelings that you need to know more about! They say you need to learn something new everyday to keep your
brain healthy! Give it a shot and go to just one more page than what you were searching for!
Imagine yourself as the newborn
baby you once were. Whether you're a man, woman, teen, grandma - you've somewhere in time encountered the miracle of
a new born baby. The miracle of course is the fact that the baby is pure. It hasn't suffered anything. It's beautiful, perfect
in all of our eyes. We can feel the newness, the pureness of heart & the wonder of the moment of pure innocence.
Close your eyes
to picture the very moment that you were born. Maybe you know the story of your birth, maybe not. But if you have some
kind of idea, do you know who was in the room when you were born? Who was in the waiting room of the hospital? Who waited
at home for the phone to ring, saying that the time had come?! You were born! And what was the very first thing you did?
With your knowledge
of your birth moment right this minute - how does your personal birth picture make you feel?
What is the first thing that
everyone wants to hear when a newborn baby is born? The
cry! Can you see the picture in your mind?
I'm sure you
can think of all the possibilities that the babies being born into the world today might encounter. What's being written upon their clean
black slates? Just as when you were born, every experience in every time is different. We're all individuals with our
own story, with our own unique journey.
When I began with the websites,
I began with the mental health site, anxieties 101. I was traveling blindly in determining what to do and where to go with the website!
It became apparent to me
after several weeks of counseling sessions that if I were to learn about mental illness - I would have to take personal responsibility for finding the information I needed to have. I realized that the system wasn't designed to give me what I truly needed. Therefore, I had to search the vastness of the Internet for my own information until I did have an understanding that I felt comfortable with. My problem was then, "how to use a computer and how to search the Internet!" I was completely computer and Internet
illiterate!
It took some time
for me to understand it all. I had NO clarity of thought. I had confusion, hurt & I felt as though I was stumbling through a thick fog. I was living in such turmoil & pain that I wasn't able to start at anyone's beginning. I did the best I could under the circumstances I was dealing with. I had to wait for the medications to take hold to alleviate the severe symptoms of mental illness I was experiencing.
I also had to admit to myself that I was experiencing mental illness.
That's sometimes a tough piece of meat to cut through. I had to grasp at straws to find a starting point after living one
year in my bedroom - totally isolated from everyone. I had to "come back to life" so to speak & find some element of who I was before I could go back to my
beginnings - able to see the connections.
It's all connected. Your family history, your first, second & third year of life, pretty much establishing
by then the actual personality, temperament (additional info concerning temperament click here) of the person you are today. Believe it or not... that's how it happens & if anything disrupted what might have been a "perfect" upbringing - who knows what might transpire.
Developing coping mechanisms when our needs weren't met, pushing through the parenting techniques of an untrained parent, dealing with not enough attention, too much attention, whatever happened... it all has a bearing
on who you are right now as you read my words.
And this is why I'm using this opportunity - the fact that
Lycos messed up one of the sites that is interwoven into the network - as a positive stepping stone to introduce to you all what I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years
of personal growth & recovery.
The first site I designed was titled, "anxiety understanding."
After awhile, the whole concept had to change because I use "free sites" offered by Tripod. There's only so much "free space" per site - & I had so much information
to share with everyone.
I had no idea in the beginning about how much information
I would need to acquire an adequate understanding of mental health & mental illnesses.
"anxiety understanding" evolved into anxieties 101 after I had the benefit of learning volumes about mental health & mental illness.
I'm not sure how I grasped the concept of having
to change the "whole person" to recover from mental illnesses, but I had read so many articles that stressed the importance of some basic lifestyle factors & the direct correlation between the mind/body connection.
I also learned that each age group & gender had their own individual
symptoms, problems & concerns that needed to be taken into serious consideration.
End result after many different attempts - anxieties 101 is divided into 3 major sections:
How about self withdrawal, isolation from others?
anxieties 101: this site contains information concerning the following 3 basic topic groupings.
Mental Health & Mental Illness
Did
you realize that more than 1/2 the people recently polled believed that mental illness, i.e., depression - was simply a "state of mind" that one needed to "snap out of."
anxiety disorders
generalized & social anxiety disorders:
separation anxiety mentioned as well
caregiver anxiety
panic disorder:
information regarding panic attacks included
phobias:
specific phobias, social phobia, agoraphobia
- additional page linked off of this page: the phobia list
obsessive compulsive disorder:
mention of other obsessive compulsive
disorder (tourettes, etc.)
post traumatic stress disorder:
acute stress disorder
Since
depression is very often co-existing with the above anxiety disorders as well as negative coping mechanisms resulting from unresolved emotions & feelings, eating disorders, abuse & other forms of dysfunction, there's plenty of information regarding depression & other mood, or affective disorders included.
depression page: links to other depression information within the site - additional pages linked off of this page: bipolar disorder, mood & affective disorders
how it all works:
This page is
offered because I found the information very important in understanding mental illness & recovery processes, how your brain works, how your brain is linked to many subjects, etc. as well as a glossary of mental health terms...
The
more you learn about mental illness, the more you begin to realize about how prevalent it
is within different age groups. therefore, I've broken it down into different age levels on each of the following pages...
Age & Gender Groups
children & mental illness:
Topics
concerning children & mental illness as well as info concerning the currently being developed site, children 101 - this site can be accessed while being developed! Additional pages linked off of this page: parenting 101
teens & mental illness:
Different
topics concerning teens & mental illness for parents to look over as well as info about the teenscene site!
young adults & mental illness:
What
concerns young adults directly in relationship with mental health & well being, i.e., college, eating disorders & other issues?
men & mental illness:
What
concerns men directly with mental health & lifestyle,
parenting, job related issues?
women & mental illness:
What
concerns women directly in relationship with mental health, parenting, career &
other issues -separate page for women about hormonal changes & connection with mental illness?
seniors & mental illness:
What
concerns seniors directly in relationship with mental health,
life transitions & other issues?
Lifestyle
factors have a huge link to our mental health. Thru my research I found that I needed an education concerning
my lifestyle habits that had a great bearing on my well being, so I included lifestyle pages on this site as well.
Lifestyle Factors
lifestyle diet:
It's surprising to learn the ramifications of a nutritious diet in relationship with your mental health &
well being! The connection can't be denied!
According to CBS News, "According to the Pentagon's latest
mental health survey:
- 31% of Marines
- 38% of soldiers
- 49% of the National Guard
reported psychological symptoms such as:
after returning home. As the director of the survey said, combat stress isn't something you just get over.
"It may manifest and
change their lives forever. These are men and women who have undergone experiences that are unlike anything else in humankind,"
Vice Adm. Donald Arthur said.
For wounded soldiers like Staff Sgt. Daniel Shannon,
post-traumatic stress disorder adds insult to their injuries.
"I started smashing furniture, very
rapidly; so fast I didn't know what I was doing 'til it happened. I'd get mad so fast, so angry, and just lash out," Shannon said."
If you're feeling as though there might be a possibility
that you're experiencing depression, anxiety, panic, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or a phobia - I urge you to click on one of the above underlined links to visit anxieties 101 to see if you're dealing with the symptoms of an anxiety disorder &/or depression.
Since anxieties 101 has been so busy, I've tried over the 5 years I've been working on the sites, to keep new & updated material
& information available for you always. In keeping with this thought, you'll see on every page of anxieties 101 a section titled, "in the news...."
You'll find pertinent articles that have been
recently published on the internet. All you do is click on the underlined title & a new window will open with the article
on it.
Now that anxieties101 has been such a hit - I've begun anxieties102! It was time. There is so much going
on today in the world of mental health that the size restriction at anxieties101 were met
long ago. It's time for expansion in the mental health world!
Keep reading in the right hand column as there are additional facts concerning
the emotional feelings network of sites over there!
After I removed the majority of the abuse information from anxieties 101 & emotional feelings - to make more room for mental health information, I designed abuse 101 to be sure to include the important information concerning abuse & domestic violence.
There is a direct
connection between mental health - emotions & feelings and daily environment! If your environment includes abuse of any kind - the
connections are very deep!
Today the domestic
violence shelters are not providing the abused women and children with what they truly need; which is a mental health evaluation
for both the woman involved as well as her children. They are harboring unresolved emotions and feelings that will surface eventually. They need to learn about mental illness and how to resolve their old issues as
well as their unresolved emotions and feelings!
This is another strong
connection within the emotional feelings network of 28+ sites!
"anxiety understanding," my original website -
included a section concerning domestic violence & abuse.
These topics had to be omitted because of space limitations with the Tripod free websites. As I felt that there was more information that needed to be addressed with each topic, I omitted the topic from anxiety understanding and
then opened a new site for the omitted topic - ABUSE.
This process is how the network of 28+ sites came to be!
The new website - dealing with domestic violence &
other types of abuse - abuse 101 - was born.
I survived domestic violence & other types of abuse growing up & as an adult. While abuse 101 is in existence, it only has basic information available & it remains in need of more work on my part to make it more complete.
The important thing I learned about abuse is that if you're in an abusive situation now or if you've been abused sometime in your past - the result of that abuse can be - a huge pit of unresolved emotions & feelings - that you've buried inside of you for a very long time.
If you've ever asked the question, "Why doesn't an abused woman leave her abusive situation?" your answer is - she's probably suffering from several types of abuse that have escalated into some kind of mental illness & even physical illnesses. If she's depending upon her husband's
insurance to be treated for a physical illness - she can't leave the relationship.
After living in one + domestic violence shelters in my adult
years, I was never once asked if I was experiencing symptoms of mental illness. They may have asked me entrance questions;
but I don't recall anyone referring to mental illness. It was never suggested that I check into having a mental health evaluation.
It was never once suggested that my children receive a mental health evaluation or counseling.
I have to tell you that although domestic violence shelters
are a necessary system in today's world, they need to be re-evaluated to establish a routine of helpful assessments to help reduce the times a woman returns home to her abuser.
A mental health screening might save hundreds or even thousands of lives if a victim might receive new of a diagnosable
mental illness that needs attention.
If a woman who has escaped into a domestic violence shelter
who has been experiencing depression due to her abusive relationship and environment - she needs to know that her
children are at a very high risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders or even an eating or sleeping disorder
as well.
Also it's a
proven fact that the woman who tends to be a victim of domestic violence usually has few life skills. You can visit the Life
Skills 101 website by clicking here! Check out how you can improve your sense of well being by learning how to be an independent
person who is able to take care of herself and her children without that abusive spouse or partner.
Here are some of them:
- physical abuse
- mental abuse
- verbal abuse
- domestic violence
- child abuse
- sexual abuse
- financial abuse
- spiritual abuse
& there's also information concerning:
- abuse of power
- control
- intimidation
- manipulation
Those of us who experienced or witnessed
domestic violence or abuse as children within our family or origin or our extended family may have found those experiences confusing at the time. I certainly was confused as to how an adult could allow this to happen to children.
But after the same domestic
violence occurred in my own family; I found my adult children echoing the same concern, "Mom, how could you let our step-father hit us & punish us the way he did?" The betrayal instilled into their hearts by my lack of knowledge cut like a knife into their psyches.
Now I know what to do and
I know that by educating myself and my children - that we've nipped the domestic violence in the bud - ending a generational acceptance of family violence and betrayals.
Those of you experiencing
domestic violence or any other type of abuse, know what abuse feels like. You know what you're experiencing now and how it felt in the past. You fear what will happen in the future. You don't need any education concerning feeling abuse.
What you do need is an education concerning why people abuse others, you see, it's not your fault.
You need an education concerning what to do if you want to stop being abused.
You need an education concerning what abuse can do to you in the short and long run as well as what abuse can do to your children.
You need to learn the mechanics of abuse. You need to learn as much as you can about abuse so that you can totally understand it. Once you can totally understand it, you've empowered yourself enough with that information you've learned to take action. Taking action means you can make
changes in your world, and in your life.
Understand this... first you educate yourself, then you understand what you've taught yourself... then you feel strong enough to take action to cause changes. And when you begin to bring about positive change into your life, you empower yourself even more. It's up to you to get out of your victim status!
I was laying in bed the other night,
listening to some soft music on the radio, and this song played. I kept forgetting to find it to look at all the lyrics to
be sure that they were what I thought they were. But... I was surprised to find the title, Superman! (It's not easy to be
me)
I was thinking
in some of the lyrics that I could identify with it sometimes. So I'm posting it. How many people in our lives believe we're
that "Superman" or "Superwoman" in their lives?
And we're thinking ...
Superman
(It's Not Easy to be Me)
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better
part of me
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face
beside
a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find
a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd
but don't be naive-
Even
Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
but won't you concede?
Even Heroes have the
right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away: away from me
It's all right
You
can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that
naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a
silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking
for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.
do you understand what I was thinking?
Another important connection that was made clear to me - childhood experiences & how the parents'
mental health, physical health & experiences affect their children.
As you read above, from birth,
we develop our personalities, our temperaments, and determine who we will be in the future.
As I kept in mind the information
over at anxieties 101 that had been broken down into gender, age & also included the very important lifestyle factors; it became clearly apparent
to me that there was too much information that had to be included about each one of those factors to keep it all at anxieties 101.
For the children,
with whom I was very concerned about - being a mother - I designed the children 101 site. My mental health issues began in childhood. I didn't know that - of course. I didn't even know what depression was until I was in my 40's.
Naive as I was, once I learned about myself & how I developed mental illnesses as a child; I knew that the children site was
essential for parents who were discovering that they, themselves were experiencing the symptoms of a mental illness.
The more information I had learned about abuse & children who were brought up experiencing domestic violence within the family of origin; I realized that these children were at high risk to develop mental illnesses themselves. I learned
that children of a depressed mother had a very high risk of experiencing depression themselves.
Children 101 is a work still in progress, but so am I! I'll continue to work on all the sites to keep them up to date & filled with
current links to pertinent articles outside the emotional feelings network of sites
for additional learning opportunities.
The teenage years in
anyone's life can be full of turmoil. Add in the connections to mental illness, abuse, domestic
violence, unresolved emotions & feelings and trauma or crises experienced in the first three years of life - you've got a serious connection to dysfunction
in the teenage years.
Knowing full well that some
of my most painful years were the teen years, I designed a teen site full steam ahead. Within this great site, I offered the
girls their own perspectives for the lifestyle factors & some other important considerations for teenagers. The guys have
their own information on the "his pages!"
Teenscene offers the following information for teenagers:
- a look at mental illness from a teen's perspective
- facts - teens need facts - these facts allow teens to know that there are other teens experiencing the same problems that
they are; i.e., living with a parent who is an alcoholic or living in a foster home
- her - diet, exercise, relaxation & sleep
- his - diet, exercise, chill out time & sleep
- her - choices & relationships
- his - choices & relationshps
- info about school
- emotions & feelings
- running away
- communication skills
- feeling like no one loves you?
- peer pressure
- drugs, drinking and rock & roll
- fears - i.e., will something bad happen to my family? Will I make it thru school to be
financially independent?
- & many more topics including counseling & meds teens might have to take if they're
experiencing a mental illness
I'm in the process of developing
separate sites for the girls & the guys. angels and princesses is the girls site that's currently under construction. As I've learned more & more about what's important for teens to
learn as they grow up in today's world, I've found that I truly needed to address the issues but didn't have enough space
available at teenscene.
- who am I?
- what is self care?
- self worth & self respect
- incorporates the lifestyle factors into this site to leave more room at teenscene for other
topics that need to be addressed
- spirituality
After working diligently
to get the above sites into action, I remembered how man is simply a "creature of habit." Thinking about how some people just
can't seem to make changes on their own and sometimes need some encouragement, I designed another site that originated as
"lifestyle changes."
lifestyle changes
is now
Your lifestyle directly affects your physical and mental health. changes delves slightly deeper into your:
- lifestyle diet: proteins, carbs, fats, veggies, fruits - etc.
- lifestyle exercise: cycling, walking, running, yoga, hiking, rowing, even gardening - etc.
- lifestyle sleep: sleep hygiene
- lifestyle relaxation: meditation, relaxation breathing, relaxation techniques
- lifestyle counseling: more info concerning types of counseling available
- lifestyle meds: more info concerning meds taken for mental illness
- volunteering
- quitting smoking
- setting goals
- making plans to achieve your goals
- quit using excuses & hang ups
There's still more info
that needs to be added to changes. It's coming slowly but surely, but enjoy the information that it already contains. You'll
be surprised how there is a huge connection between your emotions & feelings and making changes.
There are some other
tools that are imperative to learn about for making changes in your life. I thought about this one for some time and
came up with a name that signifies the layers and layers of unresolved emotions and feelings we have to resolve to live our life in peace and happiness.
Determining what kind of
work we have to do has a huge bearing on the following topics over at "the layer down under."
Subjects covered in The Layer Down Under....
Addictions - Drug & Alcohol Abuse, Gambling, Smoking, and more... Becoming addicted
to something is a negative coping mechanism that we use to keep us from feeling the pain we have inside us...
We all have attitudes. Learn more about how your attitude affects your daily life
& impedes your progress in self growth & discover.....
Beliefs - Extracting False Ones....
We all have beliefs. Most of our belief systems were
formed when we were children living in a dysfunctional world... often times learned from our parents who were dysfunctional
themselves....
I myself have lived with an eating disorder for most of my life, "night eating syndrome." Professionals aren't quite sure what to do with this disorder yet. Although
it was discovered in the 1950's, professionals haven't studied much about it.... I believe that my negative
body image sold me on eating at night for comfort among other things.... Read more about what people are facing
these days with their own body image issues....
Change isn't easy. We all get used to doing things a certain way & although
we may know it's not the "best" way for us that we do these things... it's so hard to accept that we have to change. Acceptance
is the first detail to work on when we're talking about changing ourselves....
This page is just about emotions, not one in particular,
but about how we deal with our emotions, the importance of emotions, what happens to our emotions if we don't feel them &
end up stuffing them - also about kids & their emotions as well as teens!
The same goes for this "feelings page." About feelings generally, why we experience feelings,
what we do with them, what we don't do with them that we should as well as other general information concerning feelings...
it's an interesting page!
While professionals & experts, well - you know - those educated people, maybe
like you, are out their in their worlds of business, finance, and other mainstays of our modern world, there seems to be an
elemnet of doubt concerning some of the subjects contained in The Layer Down Under... How important is it for us to look for
insightful information in our every day lives... After being raised by well educated parents who didn't know anything
about "insight" I can rightfully say that most people are letting their educations get in the way of an important factor that
they are missing out on in their educated lives.... that's right, i said it.... don't be too educated to concentrate
on the insightful information you may be missing in your daily life, this page talks about that abit!
Another blessing often passed by is the gift of inspiration. How open are you to allowing yourself to be
touched by an inspiring message? How hard do some of you work to look the other way, saying, "this is crap...." instead of
pondering on what could be a very inspiring message?
This is an interesting topic that I've wanted to cover from the beginning
of my website ventures.... you could say, "I've had the intention of covering this topic
since the beginning of the emotional feelings network, perhaps because it hits so close to home (being a personal interest)
that I've procrastinated a bit about it." Just what do your intentions say about you as an individual? How come many of us
fall short on fulfilling our good intentions? An interesting topic - are you willing to ask yourself some important questions?
Just how intuitive do you allow yourself to be?
Do you hold any stock whatsoever in what your intuition tells you?
Maybe you should check out this page to find out the importance of being open &
present enough to rely on your intuition for making important decisions.
After we discover that underneath our anger with life there's an open wound left
behind from abandonment, abuse or some other dysfunction in our past, how willing are you to sit and feel that unresolved
emotion or feeling, so you can "let go" of it & settle that account out of your life? Don't know how? This page lends
some insight on that topic.
This is one of my personal vices.... I admit it. I'm not a good listener at times, especially
when it comes to my husband. I sure want him to listen to me though. The times do happen though, when I can keep my mouth
shut long enough to soak in just what he's trying to tell me, and believe me.... it's usually a very insightful experience.
It's amazing what we can learn about others as well as ourselves when we choose to keep our mouths shut and empathetically
listen to someone.
Another faux pas of the educated community, is ignoring the fact that most of
us are not living "in the present' moment to allow ourselves to be mindful. It's how we solve some of our most difficult blockages,
by being mindful of what is happening around us, by what we encounter along the journey of self growth. Let yourself become
mindful - it takes practice, but well worth the effort.
This is a subject that I have had trouble finding information on believe it or
not.... Opinions are everywhere, available to us everyday whether we want to listen to them or not! I like opinions. I am
curious as to why people believe the way they do! I like to ask some questions after I hear peoples' opinions & try to
understand just why they think the way they do. Hoping to learn something from someone's elses belief system is an interesting
opportunity. How curious are you about someone elses' opinions? Can you say you even care how anyone else thinks?
Are you always thinking ahead or behind? Many of us are stuck in a rut of a very
common avoidance behavior that involves us being preoccupied with what we have experienced in the past, which hinders our
growing in the present moment, or always thinking ahead as to what we want to do in our future. taking the time to be "present"
in your life allows you to use some of the tools you'll find in The Layer Down Under, to be happier in your life & make
some important changes.
That's right, how clear is your mirror of opportunity? Do you take the time to reflect on anything? Does your behavior reflect a certain behavior you're
stuck in? Do you even want to go there? Be real with yourself, letting your authentic self be known. Take time to reflect
on important subjects, be open, mindful & in the present moment to reflect on just who you are as a person.
Risk Taking ... How Vulnerable will you allow yourself to be? Pretty good question, isn't
it?
Life can be extremely hurtful to us at times. I rely on the wisdom of a great
book when I think about taking risks.... it's a book that I read when I was a teenager, it seemed to be all the craze back
then, but it's wisdom is eternal... the author, kahlil gibran in the book - The Prophet - offers such gems as "how can you
know joy if you haven't experienced sorrow?" that's what risk taking is about.... allowing yourself to be open, maybe to sorrow,
but what can you learn from that sorrow is my question to you.... what can you learn from letting down your defensive outer
shell & learning to take some risks?
Self Esteem.... if only my parents had known about this... how different
would I be today? I ask myself.... it's the topic of the moment it seems.... just how much importance do you put into your
self esteem? are you just ignoring the craze? it's not one... it's really an important topic... get where you want to be by
learning more about your self esteem on this page... you'll find the self esteem page at
it's new place - the self pages!
Another topic that puts us to the test... are you letting your education
stand in the way of being open to spirituality? What do you hold sacred in your belief system? I struggle with this one as
well.... 12 steppers are all about their "Higher Power,"
Christians are all about their "God"... Muslims, Jews, Buddhists are all about who they hold
sacred in their beliefs as well... what do you truly believe?.... do you think that spirituality is only about religion? Take
some time to consider your sense of spirituality in your life...
Now we know that we can be stressed even in the womb. What about that? Geez o Pete! It's amazing
what research can tell us these days about stress... learn more about keeping stress out of your life here....
Not Dinnertime conversation for us baby boomers - that's for sure...
For us it was always the line from our parents, "Because that's what I said!"
or "Because that's the way it is!" Well for us as adults, we have to examine how we think, especially us "boomers."
What we believed is most likely, not so, and how we think, is most likely slightly
mixed up.... can you be real enough with yourself to really examine & maybe even change how you think about things?
the three newest pages at the layer down under!
boundaries....: something we need to learn about for healthier relationships!
how miserable is your life because your expectations
never seem to come to fruition? perhaps we need to evaluate those expectations or get rid of them all together!
It seems that no matter how many times I advise my kids about
having expectations, they just stare blankly at me and not their heads. I don't know where their expectations have come from,
but I do know mine came from my upbringing - "My mother always told my first husband - you'll never be able to support Kathleen
in the manner to which she's become accustomed!"
Fairy Tales were the other place I got my expectations from.
I was always dreaming about my prince charming coming to take me away on a white horse and marry me. Mine ended up taking
me away in a burgundy BMW which is fine, but my expectations only caused me more pain and disappointment in the long run!
humor.... how many people do you wish had a better sense of humor?
how about yourself? did you forget that you were supposed to have one?
Did you know that simply anticipating laughter
will reduce your stress level? Humor is a life saver in more ways than one!
"The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in the
giving of oneself to others that we truly live."
Ethel Percy Andrus
Once again, I ran out of space for the information that
I feel is essential for you to know about the topics at "the layer down under." The topics - featured above - are
mostly tools for you to become aware of to implement into your daily journey of personal growth and/or recovery.
Confusing.... sorry. Either way you look at this concept of layers and layers being peeled back of unresolved emotions and feelings,
personal growth and recovery happens when you study and reflect on the topics contained in this section of the emotional feelings
network of sites.
Let's take a look at what topics are covered in this section of the network!
When emotional feelings started there were about 25 emotions & feelings
contained in one site! now there are in excess of 13 sites that contain many more emotions & feelings.
Thousands of people every month visit the emotion and feelings sites to
learn more about a very important topic - how to recognize that they're feeling something, to identify what it is they're
feeling, to learn how to process their emotions and feelings & lastly how to let go of them when they're ready to.
While all this was going on
in the left hand column, I was still dealing with an "unknown" eating disorder every night. Night eating syndrome was first
discovered about 1957 - the year I was born actually - by Dr. Stunkard. I finally had found some information about it
on the internet. I was amazed at how few resources there actually were.
Dr. Stunkard's team at Pennsylvania
University's Weight and Eating Disorder Clinic. We've heard from one of the doctors there at the clinic, who looked over night
eating to say, "Good Work!" I worked with the clinic to steer night eaters over to their website to take certain surveys that
are helpful in determining information that will be processed and given out to physicians and mental health professionals
to inform them of the syndrome.
Check out the website if
you have a problem with eating at night or any other eating disorder. Sleep disorders are also featured there because night
eating syndrome is a 3-pronged syndrome involving:
- disordered eating
- sleep disorders
- psychological trama, crisis, unresolved emotions & feelings,
or family dysfunction
Why do people end up "a basket case" like I was 5 long years ago?
I experienced so many horrible things in my past. The sad
fact is that I'm not that different than millions of others. The numbers of people who have experienced trauma in their lifetime
are staggering! Perhaps the most debilitating trauma I experienced was Parental Alienation.
Parental Alienation happens when during a divorce, one parent decides to sue the other for custody of the child(ren). In either a well
laid-out evil plan or unconsciously the parent suing for custody works the mind of the child(ren) involved to coerce the child
into rejecting the present custodial parent. (of course, this can work vice versa)
This event took place over 13 years ago and
it's not until now that I can go back to the site I tried to design 5 years ago to work on it, including now my own personal
story once I feel confident enough to recall the entire experience.
If you're struggling through a nasty divorce and have heard
of parental alienation - forget about it! Try to work out the problems you had in your marriage, get couples and personal
counseling, do whatever it takes to make your marriage work, unless of course, domestic violence or other abuse is taking
place.
At each emotion & feeling page there's a dictionary definition at the top of the page!
your dictionary definition:
e·mo·tion n.
-
A
mental state that arises spontaneously rather than thru conscious effort & is often accompanied
by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate & love.
-
The part of the consciousness that involves
feeling; sensibility: The very essence of literature is the war between emotion & intellect
Isaac Bashevis Singer
feelings
-
The sensation involving perception by touch.
-
A sensation experienced thru touch.
-
A physical sensation: a feeling of warmth.
-
-
-
-
An emotional state or disposition; an emotion: expressed deep feeling.
-
-
-
Capacity to experience the higher emotions; sensitivity; sensibility: a man of feeling.
-
feelings Susceptibility to emotional response; sensibilities:
The child's feelings are easily hurt.
-
Since childhood or actually since birth - you've been feeling emotions and feelings. Usually our parents weren't familiar themselves with the importance of paying attention to resolving our daily emotions
& feelings.
All emotions &
feelings are in alphabetical order. You will travel through the underlined link words throughout the emotional feelings network of sites.
This is the index of all the sites
you'll find within the network:
Emotional Feelings: homepage for the network as well as containing all feelings & emotions
that begin with “a”
Attention all visitors!
I'd like to offer you an opportunity to visit the up &
coming new emotional feelings site called, "more emotional feelings."
Here at emotional feelings, homebase for the entire emotional feelings network of 28+ sites, things are always changing to keep up with the demand for udated
and current information!
At more emotional feelings you'll
find more emotions and feelings that are the same as the ones here at this site beginning with the letter "A" as well as some
new ones and that's exciting!
Able
Adequate
Agreeable
Altruistic
Amused
Anguished
Animated
Assured
Audacious
The site - more emotional feelings - is
still under construction, but offers quite a bit of new information
in a newer format - offering a limited number of suggestions for those using self help sites for personal growth
or recovery processes; as well as the educational information.
Check it out! It's new!
kathleen
Emotional Feelings, too: containing all feelings & emotions that begin
with "c" because.... d
has moved out of the house, completely & is established in it's own website - emotional feelings, 4!”
Emotional Feelings, 3: you are here
now! containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letter "b"
extremely emotional:
went bye-bye when Tripod, the free website company we're based at - decided to suddenly DELETE
my site without warning or reason!
Feeling emotional, 5 has replaced that site and is in the process of filling up the pages. Some of the emotions &
feelings beginning with the letter "S" throughout the end of the alphabet are in place -
it's kinda like... I'm typing as fast as I can!
your "Un"emotional Side: This site highlights all feelings &
emotions using the prefix "un" before them - then beginning with the letter "a" thru words beginning with "k."
A New Year's Added Element!
your "Un"emotional Side 2 has just been opened as your "Un"emotional Side: has gotten too full of information to hold any more! This site highlights all feelings & emotions using the prefix "un" before them then beginning
with the letter "l" thru the end of the alphabet!
the e-mail connection!
send me an e-mail anytime!
if you have questions, suggestions or just want to say "hey!"
Yes! another few sites!
I found after my husband had a heart attack, that having
a heart attack is an extremely emotional experience. He was having difficulties since the day after his stents were put in,
with keeping from crying, and it wasn't because of the pain he was experiencing!
They don't keep you in the hospital very long anyway and he
found himself very sensitive for quite some time afterwards. He began to speak to some of his friends who had heart attacks
and they said the same thing.
I suffered a two year stint in a wheel chair when I unexpectedly
fell down three stairs and broke both my tibia and my fibula. I had what they call, a non-union fracture! There were many
emotions and feelings that I was well aware of throughout my recovery.
I just recently designed the following 3 sites
so they're still not completed and have a long way to go, but I don't like waiting to address important topics. I wouldn't
want to hold up anyone's incentive to progress in their personal growth or recovery journey.
Physical - you 101 is a site that goes over some common illnesses, diseases and covers the true - mind/body - experience. Adding emotion and
feeling work only makes sense, don't you think?
As time goes on, I believe that this site will be packed with
some very interesting information!
Another important topic
that I found myself in total lack of knowledge about when I truly needed it was - "Life Skills" I'm not sure what my parents
were thinking when they raised me, but I had no clue as to what the world expected from me as far as my "responsibilities
in taking care of myself," after I finished high school.
My father had told
me, "College? No way!" and he cleared his throat, regained his composure and spewed out the most vehement tirade I
had ever heard from him. "You'll never go to college! I will not help you pay for college and I make too much money for you
to get a loan! So forget it! Women were born to be wives, mothers and housekeepers! Go find a man, get married - get pregnant
- and clean your house!"
My soul fell into such despair
and sorrow that I did exactly what he said. It was the beginning to my end. It was the initial ignition of a life filled
with misery and pain for me and my children. I'm sure my husbands suffered as well. They were mostly abusive men, like my
father, but I didn't ever know what "normal" was.
So, life-skills 101 was designed for those of you who are in the same boat, so to speak! Find out what you can do to improve your personal
situation! Don't take the road to misery, frustration and pain like I did!
Learn some life skills by visiting this site!
It's not complete, I'm warning you now, but as I finish up with other priorities,
I'll certainly get to it!
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Just don't think that this site is the right one for you?
Have you read down
the list of 28 sites to find out that this can't be what you're dealing with?
When you do find out what's troubling
you, please! send me an email and let me know what it was - once you find out of course! Just click me into your favorites so that you can find me to send
me the email! It might end up being a common problem that I might find beneficial to add to the site!
If you think that you might
need to research within the emotional feelings network of sites before you can make a decision if this could be your self
help network of sites for recovery - click here to visit, "try recovering 101!"
try recovering 101 is a
small site that offers you some insight into personal growth and recovery! Take a look around and see if there are any familiar
issues there that you can identify with!
As I reflected upon some of the
most important life factors in my life, I realized that my relationship with the Lord has always, since childhood,
had a huge bearing on how I felt about myself. Religion was always a fascination with me, mainly because my family was split
into three different religions.
different-religions is about how your religious beliefs have a bearing on your most important life decisions, dysfunctions and more. I was also
involved in a fundamental baptist church for two years that ended up being a "cult." Religion has been some of my happiest
times and some of my most futile times.
But when I made the decision
to leave the state of Michigan and my abusive marriage, nine months pregnant and only 2 weeks from my due date, toddler in
hand - the only thing I brought was a bible in the brown paper bag that held 2 newborn baby outfits, some diapers and wipes
and my important papers.
Think about
helping me with this site. I'd love to have some input into it. The other hurtful event in my life revolving around religion
was the fact that being raised in the Episcopal church, my minister, married with two children - got divorced and left the
church to move back to New York City.
I got married and moved
away from New Hampshire and one day I received a letter concerning my friend, the minister from that small New Hampshire Episcopal
church on the hill. He had died of Aids. It was a shock, never knowing he was gay, I found myself in a huge moral argument
with myself. To this day, I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole mess. I just know it was very troubling being
deceived the way I was.
different-religions is someplace you can express your feelings about religion and learn about how others feel as well!
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in just a few sites, you'll notice lots of "theme" type graphics instead of this
standard blue & white striped background! those graphics are borrowed from the following site! kitty is awesome and i
thank her profoundly as i feel that mental health issues, emotions & feelings & other important topics can sometimes
be a bit boring, so they need something exciting sometimes..... kitty does a great job!
Here's a story I wrote for Newsvine.com - a group I belong to...
At The End Of Your Day...
by Kathleen Howe
At
the end of each day, do you reflect back from the time you woke up and ask yourself, "What did I accomplish today?"
or "Who did I touch with something I said or did today?" and honestly take the time to search your day for answers to these
questions. Each of us - if we are to live with ourselves in good conscience; must have a deep seeded belief that we are to
treat our fellow man as we would like to be treated ourselves. If this is fact, why wouldn't we take the time each day to
hold ourselves accountable? Why wouldn't we take the few minutes it would take to account for touching someone elses' life
besides our own?
Does it matter what religion we follow
in order for this to be of utmost importance to us? Is politics your religion? Do you think more of what candidate lies the
most or who will ruin our country the fastest than you do of what you personally can do to change the life of just one person
each day you are alive? Is it too difficult for us to reach out to others? Are we too selfish to expect this type of servitude
of our own selves? I'm curious, does it hurt too much to try to help someone and they don't respond? What is it that isn't
changing our world as we know it? Why aren't we all wallowing in the "love light" of loving our neighbor as our self?
People ask who is responsible for
the state of our economy today and the answer is truly visible should one dare to look at it. Who in business has lied
today? Take a number, you are responsible for the aching need within the one country in the world that catches the world's
eye no matter what happens within. Who in business has been greedy today? Take a number as well, the meat counter is very
busy today with "special cuts" of beef being on special. If you can grasp that analogy... think about it some more.
Who in business has disregarded the
health and well being of other Americans today while keeping their own needs, wants and benefits in their decision
making processes? Who cares about those who don't have what they have in life - like a job? It has been a cut throat, man
eat man, woman eat woman world in America's business history in the past twenty-five years and I believe that the state of
the economy has been the fat sacrificial pig.
Has capitalism finally met its demise
in the true sense of the world? When big business is forced to use the governmental credit card they've been saving to survive
- just as millions of Americans have been forced to do for decades, the pot has truly called the kettle black. What gives?
I'll tell you. There are not many business people in this world hanging on to the Golden Rule. It's not just business that
has shifted to this "easy way" of living. It's government, it's the educational system, it's not a dog eat dog world anymore
- people are gnawing their way through other people as if the cannibal special is working its way to extinction. Which it
just might be.
I took a week off of Newsvine
to see what's happening in my other part of my world and it's going bazonkers! Big time bazonkers... I was forced to see that
other people don't give two hoots about what's happening in anyone else's lives because it takes too much time away from their
hobbies, their fun, their self serving - time consuming adventures in whatever floats their own individual boats. I got back
to my own little world where I chose to make a commitment to myself about having a hobby of substance, one that would help
others while I helped myself.
I was confronted with those people
with whom my life has revolved for just over six years. I got back to thinking about someone else during the day besides myself.
I had to reach down deep to find something within me that would be loving and kind and of help to someone outside of my immediate
family. I had to keep on doing all those other things that I do for my family, but keeping my commitment to myself that I
would sit at the end of my day and reflect on what I had done for someone else. I committed to making a difference in someone's
life every day of my life. Is that too much to ask of anyone?
In today's economy I don't
understand how anyone in the banking business can say with good conscience that charging someone $75.00 in an overdraft charge
for a check written that was 5 cents short is a good thing to do to someone. I remember when the bank would call me and say,
"Did you realize that you were going to be overdrawn when you wrote that check?" before they decided to charge me the $15.00
that I thought was outrageous back then. I remember when my bank honored my word over such a thing.
Now they don't care at all.
They will take your money, hundreds of thousands of dollars of your money, but if you make a mistake when subtracting - they'll
charge you an arm and a leg which will cause your entire bank book balance to go crazy and you'll end up being charged another
few hundred dollars in charges along the way. But the bankers don't go home at night and think about what they did to help
anyone anymore. There are many bankers out there who are nervous, anxious and depressed because they can't go to sleep at
night because they didn't help anyone that day; in fact, they most likely financially raped someone that day a few hundred
times over.
It's not just the bankers.
Think about General Motors and their snap team of CEO, Presidents, Vice Presidents, and Directors of every department; too
new to the company to know the men that put in thirty two years into the company. Shoot, none of them will ever put thirty
two years into a company in this world! There is no more loyalty in business. It's that man eat man world out there, remember?
Not one of these administrators of General Motors gives two hoots about the thousands of men and women who worked thirty plus
years in the company and who have to pay for health benefits promised to be free for years because of the investment the workers
had put into the system.
But that was back when the system
was thriving. The system thrived under the pretense of employer/employee loyalty - remember? That was when General
Motors was making money hand over fist. That was when people in America worked for General Motors. That was when General Motors
had profits every year; enough to have profit sharing among the employees. How many of those executives go home at night and
reflect upon how they helped just one American that day?
At the end of your day, no
matter what business you are in - who have you helped? Have you taken the time to own up to your own ethics, moral substance
and your willingness to give of yourself? How have you helped your neighbor or fellow American? Think about it. What did you
do to help the economy today? Who did you financially rape today? Are you a bill collector who harassed the mother of three
children, one who has a life threatening illness, to the point that she felt she wanted to kill herself today? Was that chore
on your to-do list at work? Get the payment no matter what it takes?
I am willing to bet that there
are millions of people who aren't proud of what they do in their business life. What about you? Do you even know about your
own family and their needs? Are you filling the needs of your own families emotionally speaking? Do you care about anyone
but yourself. Shame on you if you are participating on the financial ruin of America. Shame on you all.
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Okay.... after the cry... what
does the baby expect? (Our first experience with expectations! This is scary!) It has just gone through
a painful journey through the birth canal, experienced it's first breath of air, been maybe - spanked - by the doctor, prodded,
poked & suctioned by the nurses - what do you think that baby - that baby who is you is expecting?
It's a wonder that we can adequately comfort the newborn baby at all! It's just been removed from the "perfect" environment! The
constant temperature that was maintained inside the womb has been disturbed.
The muffled sounds
the baby once heard are now loud voices & noises. The baby wants to be comforted, held close, tightly, to be soothed. This is the goal of every newborn baby who enters the world. To find it's own mother & father's arms for comfort, the sound of their familiar voices & to feel close to them. The baby wants to feel safe, secure & loved.
The baby wants
to sense it's needs are being met. The first thing some mothers will offer the baby is her breast. If breast feeding is what has been planned, or bottle - the baby will be offered food. This is meeting another need of the newborn. The baby wants his or her needs met.
This is all that
is needed by a newborn. If the baby is cold - it wants warmth. If the baby is hungry - it wants food. The baby wants to feel safe, secure - often times babies are swaddled to meet that safe & secure need. The baby has but just a few needs, but they must be met for that baby to continue to grow in a healthy manner.
(In my personal growth recovery journey - yes - even after having 5 children - this was the first time that I thought about the fact that "I" had needs as a human being. I learned about making good choices somewhere along the age of 40 and that was much too late to change
my already bad habits! Yeah, I didn't learn about welfare or domestic violence shelters until after I was in my 40's - again
too late!)
It's very difficult for
most people to grasp the concept that what they're feeling today - is deeply rooted in this very important time in our lives - the first 3 years of our lives.
Not only the first 3 years - but in our physical & mental development those 3 years are crucial for essential growth opportunity.
This understanding takes a huge amount of pressure from my shoulders. I've believed that my troubles - the weight of the world to me - weren't going to suddenly disappear if I blamed anyone for my situation, and that by taking ownership for my recovery; using my energies for being responsible myself to find a way out of my misery.
It's really all about grasping the connections once you find them! It's interesting, it's a powerful discovery... personal growth and recovery through self examination and "in depth" study in developmental factors we were never taught as children, teens or even young
adults will bring a new peace and enlightenment into your world today!
The information below
is a brief description of the entire network of emotional feelings sites and how to navigate
them. There is also my monthly column, "i've just gotta say it!" & other information
that is important for you to consider.
Please consider that there
is a reason for every piece of information within the network. I have worked these sites up & down, back & forth - for
one simple reason.
Adding this dimension to
my journey has introduced me to others who are also "in need". Others are out there that have lived similar lives. There are others out there that just need someone to talk to for support! I have the time. I want to help others. I feel that if the entire world spent a consistent percentage of their time everyday helping others, our world would be a glorious place to live.
Each
emotion page is filled with articles filled with information concerning
the featured emotion or feeling. These articles are written by experts, others in recovery or a personal growth journey, associations, institutions & other reputable sources.
One part of the site that I feel is very interesting
- for me anyways - is that I write quite a few articles myself. I love reading the articles I wrote
way back when - 5 years ago - when I was still very new to recovery! It's amazing to me how far I've come!
At the bottom of the
article or the bottom of the page - either/or - you'll find an underlined title link for you to click on that will take you directly to the source page. A new window will emerge on your screen
so you won't loose this page while you're checking the source site.
I read every article
& implement as much of the information I take in to benefit my own recovery process. Helping others is so worthwhile for me.
I enjoy working on the computer,
receiving e-mail from those trying to help themselves & are stuck, meaning that they may need help & most of all - you can learn so much more from helping others.
I believe that you may learn things you may
have never understood before, if you weren't trying to help someone else with their problem. You look at things from a different perspective & it forces you to keep your mind sharp, being
open & aware of thing at all times.
Some of you may have heard of the concept that you never know what will
trigger a very important treasure chest of individually important information that's exactly what you needed to find!
It could be talking to a stranger, or sometimes someone very
close to you just says something that you're particularly keyed in on. It could be a book, a magazine or a newspaper article...
the odds here are large that something will be of interest to you because of the vast opportunity of information!
Just try to enter the site pages with an open
mind, breathing slowly & deeply with your emotional feelings experience to enable your brain & your thought processes to do their job in helping you to be aware of information that may be useful to you in your recovery from whatever is holding you back from personal growth.
kathleen
I often receive e-mail that asks, "Who are you anyway? Why do you do this? It must take 1000's of hours to work on these sites!"
"Never apologize
for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize
for the truth."
Benjamin Disraeli
underlined link words: are offered because as I researched information to study for my own recovery - I failed to immediately grasp the concept of how certain factors that I had studied were connected to each other. I wasn't able to see what was right before my eyes because of:
I believe & work very hard to offer this special feature within all of the emotional feelings
network of sites web pages.
When you read thru the articles, definitions
or quotations - you'll see the underlined link words (all emotion & feeling words, as well as other specifically pertinent to recovery & personal growth words) that are offered for you to
delve even further into the meaning of the information being displayed.
The reason I believe this so important for you in recovery from many dysfunctions or personal growth efforts is that often we can't make progress until we
allow ourselves to be open to all possibilities & allow ourselves to develop a sense of curiosity.
When you click on the underlined link words - a new window will always open - leaving you with the original window of information that you began
with. You don't have to delete your original window, just minimize it until you have looked over your new & additional
information concerning the emotion or feeling underlined link word you clicked on.
You will notice that the same word on each page is an
underlined link word throughout the whole page. Why is that so?
There's a saying:
You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him drink.
I can offer you the underlined link word to click on, but you might not want to. Why bother? You're in a hurry to learn what you need to learn so you will feel better, or you might think you don't need that information! You have enough info right here without searching any further.
You could be reading along - in your normal hurry
- when you see some information that sounds like it was written about you. Then you see
the underlined link word that describes exactly how you're feeling.
You might click on it. This is why I continue
to work extra hard to encourage you to use the resources available to you here at the emotional feelings network of 28+ sites!
This isn't your usual network of sites! Each e-mail is answered personally by myself, Kathleen, from Dayton, Ohio. Nothing is as annoying to me as sending in an e-mail to ask a question about the site or to relay a personal situation & only
receive an automated response saying that my e-mail was received, but never a personal response! It's like making a phone
call and being answered by those machines! I absolutely hate that!
That's not acceptable to me. I answer each e-mail usually within one day's time, but it is always a personal answer. I take my e-mail correspondences
very seriously. I reflect upon the e-mail that has been sent to me very carefully because I believe that personal sharing of problems is a very trusted confidence.
Sometimes it's a continuing correspondence over a period
of time and other times I never hear back once I've answered the original e-mail question. Either way, there are no automated
answers to questions here at the emotional feelings network of sites! I treasure each one
I receive!
I've made some very nice friends through my network of sites
and the correspondences have allowed me to grow personally and learn even more about my potential. I believe the sharing of information is an incredible way to learn more about yourself.
"i've just
gotta say it!"
June 2009
kathleen howe
I'm so pleased
that people are visiting the network in record numbers! Hurray! I hope just one thing they find will be an "aha moment" for
each of them!
I moved. Yes,
something I've wanted to do for years finally came to pass and I love it. I've just gotta say that it means a new beginning
for our family as a whole as well as a new beginning for me. Thank God.
With many reasons
for the move, many of them relate to topics within the network, my family's emotions and feelings, needs and my own recovery
personal growth journey. Let me share!
First of
all... the move. The move was something I had always wanted to do, but I went about it the wrong way. Because
of my avoidance behaviors associated with my Post traumatic stress disorder it was easy to do. You can read about this by clicking here.
Now, my job after the move is to incorporate good or productive and
healthy behaviors into the new house and the new beginning. We had to rent 2 dumpsters at the old house to take away all the
trash that was in our house. Still we had to dump some trash at the dump as well. We also have some trash at our new home
that we've been putting out.
Trash - unproductive.
Time To DeClutter?
If you’ve lost sight of your carpet, can’t find your
clean clothes in the pile on the floor, and don’t remember if that basket holds trash or important paperwork, it’s
time to de-clutter.
If you need a hammer and nails but have to wade through old toys, paint cans, and things that have gathered dust
in your garage to find them, it’s time to de-clutter.
Have you given up having family dinners because you’ve lost the dining room table under the accumulated
mess?
Do you shudder when you open your refrigerator because it’s a constant reminder
that you’ve neglected it? Are you afraid when you need something the kids borrowed and you are forced to search through the endless clutter in their rooms to find
your belongings?
Do you have to clean out your seat into an already overloaded trunk just to give a co-worker a ride
home?
People continually add to their daily stress because of the clutter in many, if not all, areas of their
lives.
Then they finally get a day off work only to once more ignore de-cluttering in favor of going shopping,
running errands, or taking the kids somewhere to have fun. So, the clutter continues to build. They may feel they sacrifice
enough of their time already and work too hard to spend their precious off-time decluttering.
Yet this may be the one area that could simplify their busy lives.
Gaining control over clutter can relieve stress. Sometimes a person will attempt to de-clutter their
homes by cleaning and clearing only what can be readily seen by any visitors.
This is similar to the child who shoves everything under the bed or into the closet in an attempt to
fool mom and dad, or at least to get them off their backs temporarily.
People become frustrated every day because they have lost something because of lack of organization.
They have shoved so much junk into lockers, closets, and into their drawers that they feel the situation is hopeless.
Busy families will literally stuff a dresser so full it finally breaks the runners on the drawers,
handles are pulled off from tugging open an overstuffed drawer, and the bottom will give way.
Kids lose athletic clothing, tennis shoes, and socks for lack of organization. Parents lose their ties
or are late to work because their suit was wadded into a pile and wrinkled. They forget to clean their uniforms. They misplace
important papers.
Clutter can affect grades at school, relationships, self-esteem, and careers. Have people
stopped visiting because your home has become so cluttered that it’s unsafe, a germ haven, and smelly - all because
you need to de-clutter?
You can learn to de-clutter. You must reprogram your thinking process and reassess your priorities.
It will help you regain your sense of overall well-being. It’s never too late to learn better habits.
source site: click here
If it's true that we're a product of our environment - and we're neglecting our environment - it's very likely that we're neglecting taking care of our own selves as well!
Declutter My House!
Almost every home has clutter. Clutter is the stuff that finds its way through your home, wandering
from place to place, without a place to belong.
Some clutter just needs to disappear. Other clutter should be organized and a place created for it to belong. But decluttering your
house doesn’t have to be difficult. It depends on how you do it.
There are many ways to declutter your home. I declutter my house by sorting items into three boxes:
keep, give away, and trash. Then, I empty the boxes into the places they belong, and create a home for all of my things. However,
this only works if you know your cluttered home is due to unnecessary items.
Another way to unclutter your house is by going through each room and accessing the clutter
and disorganization. I determine about how much stuff needs to go, and how much stuff needs to stay. If the problem appears to be a lack of places to put things, I head off to the department store
for a brainstorming session.
If you’re not sure where the organization section of your department store is, go to the first
employee you see and ask, “Where is the stuff I can use to declutter my home?” They’ll know right where
to send you.
Once you have a place for everything, it’s time to put everything in its place.
If you start putting things away and realize you still don’t have enough room for everything, you may need to reevaluate what items need to stay, and what items need to go. Some items can go into storage, such as seasonal items.
However, be careful that the next question you ask doesn’t become, “How do I declutter
my basement?”
A friend of mine declutters her home by getting rid of everything in the house that is not being used.
She does this every season. She also avoids bringing anything into the house without making sure that something else leaves.
This is a great way to not only declutter your house, but make sure that everything stays clutter free.
Another way to declutter your home is to get the help of your family.
Don’t try to do it all on your own.
Two weeks before any birthday, Christmas, Easter, or other gift giving holiday, I have my children
go through their toys and box up anything they no longer play with.
This help to keep their room, and the rest of the house, decluttered, as well as making room for the
new toys they will receive as gifts.
The prospect of getting new things always makes them more willing to part with those toys they don’t
really play with anymore.
source site: click here
Handy Household Hints
There are possibly thousands of handy household hints available through self help books, websites,
internet searches, and television shows. Below you will find what I think are some of the best handy household hints out there.
Here’s a handy household hint to ease your dusting chores and help your electronics last longer.
Did you know that you can repel dust from your electronics?
After dusting, use a fabric softener sheet that has already been used in your laundry, and rub it all
over the parts of the electronics that you don’t want to dust. Instead of attracting dust, the electronics will repel
dust!
Did you know that the best thing for decluttering your garden is likely in your kitchen cabinet?
The best weed repellent in your arsenal can be found in the baking section of your local grocery store.
Apple cider vinegar sprayed on any plant will kill it by the next day.
This handy household hint could save your life.
It’s a good idea to go through your medicine cabinet twice a year and throw out any old medications.
This prevents taking a medication by mistake, or children getting into medication that is old and might cause illness.
There are several handy household hints out there for cleaning tough floors.
Use silver polish to clean up crayon marks from vinyl or linoleum floors.
Remove wax from carpets by placing brown paper over the wax, then running over it with a warm iron.
Ivory bar soap works well on almost any carpet stain. Just use the soap with a toothbrush and rinse
well.
There are also a lot of handy household hints uttering up your windows and mirrors? Here’s a
handy household hint that will save you money. Instead of buying window cleaner, buy rubbing alcohol and put it in a spray
bottle. It won’t leave streaks and it will actually repel prints for a few days.
There are many other handy household hints available in a variety of places. The best way to find more
household hints might be to search the Internet, or try a household hint and organization book.
source site: click here
How to Declutter
Spring is in the air, and spring cleaning is all about getting rid of clutter! It is, after all, the
first step to home organization. But how do you declutter your home? By following this simple, three step process in every
room of your home.
You will need three boxes (large ones if you have a lot of clutter), a trash bag, an egg timer, a permanent marker, and a lot of self control.
Mark one box “Keep,” one box “Give Away,” and one box “Trash.”
Line the trash box with a trash bag. Set your egg timer for one hour, and go!
Start with the door way to the room, and work clockwise.
Anything you are going to keep goes in the keep box. Anything you are going to give away
goes in the give away box. Anything that needs to be tossed goes in the trash box.
Don’t second guess yourself.
Go with your first instinct. Your goal is to be done with this room in one hour! Don’t dawdle!
When you are finished with the room, or your timer goes off, it’s time to take care of your boxes.
Dispose of the trash.
Take the give away box immediately to your car and put it in the trunk to take to your
favorite charity or thrift store. (This way you can’t change your mind about keeping any of it!)
Then, it’s time to take care of the Keep box. Take the Keep box around your home depositing items
in the room they belong, putting them in their place.
If it is a room you haven’t decluttered yet, place the item in the room where it will be out
of the way until you have a place for it. By the time you are finished decluttering your home you will have a place for everything,
I promise!
If your timer hasn’t gone off yet, you did a great job!
If it has, reset it for fifteen minutes. Kick back and relax, and glory in what you have accomplished!
When the timer goes off a second time, it’s time to get back to work by moving on to the next room or finishing the
one you started.
Depending on the amount of clutter in your home and the size of your home, it may take several days
or a week of this process to declutter your home.
However, it will happen, and when you are finished you will have a clean, organized home with a place
for everything and everything in its place.
What a wonderful feeling!
source site: click here
This is the first
part of my latest journey. I don't want to put down too many things at once - so I'll keep the above information for the month
of June. It's a great time for garage sales and donating to Goodwill and other charitable
organizations. Contact a domestic violence shelter in your area to see what they could use for women starting their lives
over!
Get outside and
enjoy the spring/summer weather! It's so awesome to commune with nature!
As always, I'm
thinking of all of you and hoping that these websites are helping you in some way!
Visit the website "werenotafraid.com"
and hopefully you'll be able to view some of the pictures...
the response was so overwhelming that the site is using more
than the allotted bandwith obviously as you can't access the galleries any time you visit, you just have to be patient!
emotional feelings network of sites
would like to join in on the statement being made by the populations worldwide, and offers an oppotunity for you to make your
own - we're not afraid - picture and send them in here at emotional feelings to replace the pics that are already in place
all over the site! just send them to:
kathleen
ps. read more about the website and see one of the pics submitted
to the website by visiting the "afraid page" just click !!!
i do make many of my own graphics, dividers & such... go ahead and use them
if you like! i'm all about sharing!
i often see that people are visiting the sites
from an image centered search, so feel free!
kathleen
“We are rich only through what we give: and
poor only through what we refuse and keep.”
Anne Swetchine
(1782-1857), Russian-French writer
Maybe you're visiting the emotional feelings network of sites because you are searching for the reason for your unhappiness. Have you ever thought about what would make you happy?
The article directly
below about happiness is a good starting point in the study of happiness. After you study about happiness and unhappiness you may gain a better understanding of what happiness is all about! It's articles like this throughout the emotional feelings network of sites
that spring our minds into action - to ponder upon - what we might be truly feeling.
You Are Always Happy!
By Alan Michael Ross
When you ask someone, ‘What
is the purpose of life?’, most people, after much umming & ahhing, say something like, ‘to be happy’.
We all have the desire to be happy. ‘Happy’ is some conglomeration of feeling good – light, free, strong, flowing – & not feeling bad – nothing to worry about, no fears & concerns.
This is what drives us.
If you observe yourself for a day you’ll see that in every situation we move away from situations where we don’t
feel good & towards that which we think will have us feel good. Right?
But what if the place we're looking for happiness is the wrong place?
Our main thought, even if we aren't aware of it, is that happiness is out there & over there. A misconception that things ‘out there’ MAKE us happy & so, GIVE us happiness.
If I can just get the world
to look the way I want, if this happens, if I have that, if I'm doing this… then I'll be happy… in the future. And if we get there, we’ll GET it.
So, we plan & do things
that'll hopefully result in us being happy with our lot in life. And this is our continual struggle & why life can sometimes be very tiring! Come on
happiness, where did you go?
I know you're around here
somewhere!
The thing is this, happiness is NOT a thing! A good job can’t GIVE it to us, our new clothes can’t GIVE it to us & our favourite
car can’t GIVE it to us.
How many times have you had
a car turn around to you & say, "There you go there’s a box of happiness, it’s for you!"
Several years ago I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii, where
I was living, watching the sun set on the Pacific Ocean & I was NOT happy! I was thinking, if I could just have this, be there, do that, THEN I'll be happy!
Then the shock of the contrast
hit me. Well this is paradise, if I’m not happy here, where?! So I thought back & remembered that a few months before I wasn’t happy thinking, if I could just get that job in Hawaii, live there, go to the beach, paradise, THEN I’ll be happy!
And I went back & back.
Same pattern. What if it’s not that ‘out there’ that makes me happy? Maybe it’s what I'm bringing to the party! Maybe it’s not a THING I can GET from out there?
So what is it if it’s not a thing that we can get? It’s a state of being.
You aren't having happy, you’re not doing happy, you’re BEING happy. Starts to sound pretty elusive at this point, right?!
Yes & no. The good
news is that happiness is our natural state. Why? Because we're happy when we're being ourselves.
Happiness is like the sun behind the clouds. It's always there. It’s just that what we think & do has us being some thing other than happy, like anxious, stressed, worried, bored & doubtful.
You're always happy, you're just not aware of it because you're paying attention to something else!
So, how do we experience
our happiness? This state of being our true selves. Well here are some pointers.
You can only be happy now!
If you notice yourself for one day you'll see that in the majority of
moments you want something else other than what's happening now – we're UNHAPPY WITH NOW!
We think that, if it was like this, if he didn’t do that, if I had this, then it would be better. When we
set goals or think about what we want in life it is always, I'll be happy when I have this, do that, sort this situation out in the FUTURE. But tomorrow never comes. And the cycle
continues. You can only be happy now!
The very thought that happiness is ‘over there’ means that it’s ‘not here’ & that becomes your experience. Your mind
is like a Xerox machine, it simply copies your thoughts that generate your experience.
So, what to do? Know
that happiness is a NOW experience. You can only experience your being happy now. And if you keep waiting for it, it'll wait. Accept your circumstance now & be happy.
Focus on what you want
Many times what
stops us from being happy now is that we're being concerned, anxious, even fearful of the future – we're UNHAPPY WITH THE FUTURE!
This can be the next 15 minutes,
hour, day, or week. So what are we doing? Simple, we're focussing on what we don’t want to happen.
Thinking about all the things, that could happen, that you don’t want & not being happy about them!
Stop doing that
to yourself! It doesn’t feel good!
So it’s simple. When you catch yourself worrying about the future,
notice that you're thinking about what you don’t want & think AGAIN! Best not hold on too tight though. I suggest you…
Let go & flow!
In our desire to reduce ‘bad situations’ & increase ‘good situations’, we continuously monitor &
control with our minds. I have to do this, sort that out, make sure this happens & on & on. This creates stress.
We're still thinking that we can only be happy when xyz happens & worrying that if we don’t control it, it won't happen.
What to do? Realize that your being happy is nothing to do with what ‘happens’ & be happy NOW. Decide what you want then let it go. Trust in yourself & let the results flow.
A technique to make all this possible
This technique is so simple that it may be dismissed. But try it for yourself & you'll see. It’s simple, but it may not be easy… to begin with anyway, because it's the opposite of what
you're doing now, but like anything it gets easier with practice & becomes habitual. AND it'll change your life. Ready?
WATCH! That’s it. Watch, observe, listen... whatever you want to call it. Observe your thoughts, feelings & things that are happening. No need to judge, analyze or get involved.
Simply watch!
You may have thoughts come up about what you're doing as you're doing this but just watch them go by as well! It’s the passing parade. No
need to get involved. They're merely ‘suggestions’ for you to consider, or not.
What
happens? You begin to realize that everything is just a thought & you can choose to take it on & get involved, or not. You begin to connect to more of your experience, rather than being distracted.
You feel
free, calm, centered, stronger, with peace of mind… sounds like being happy!
The secret
So what do you discover?
There are no ‘bad situations’ or ‘good situations’! Only that which you think they are. The meaning you put on them. Like ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.
You create
your own good & bad by your thoughts about things. So, you have the power to let that go… And BE happy NOW!
Happiness Coach, Alan Michael Ross, is dedicated
to helping people improve their experience of life with THE HAPPINESS PROGRAM. Get his FREE 101-day Self-Awareness Coaching
Programme and more FREE resources by visiting www.HappinessZone.com.
A chapter from "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" by Unity Love at Counselor of the Heart.com.
Copyright 2004.
Each experience we have either shows us Who We Are ... or who we
are not.
Experiences help us better define Who We Are and they show us the way to
making grander choices. Experiences bring great insight along with a wealth of information about ourselves.
Our experiences become our
guidance ... and remind us to return to Love in every way.
Let's address our perceptions regarding the bad or negative situations that have happened in our lives. Many of us are ashamed of some of these experiences and beat ourselves up continually because of them. We are going to shed a new light in how we
can view these experiences in a different way. Below are explanations that we may not have considered before and could be
of great assistance in helping us "understand ourselves better".
Did we know that one way we find out Who We Really Are ...
is
by experiencing who we are not?
All experiences gift us with information …
they give us the ability to compare what served us grandly and what did not.
Are we aware … that our life up to this point in time,
along with all our experiences and difficulties ... have now become
our credentials?
Have we realized that the experiences we perceived as bad in our
past, but have risen above and overcome the challenges in … prepared us to become a teacher to others who are going through the very same things we did?
These experiences could be of rape, depression, alcoholism, drugs or almost anything. Are we noticing that certain people show up in our life … just because we went through those
experiences
and can truly help them now? Have we stopped to think … that this could be all part of a Master Plan going on behind the scenes of life?
It is past time we address the guilt and unworthiness we carry within ourselves ... for it is keeping us from our grandest action ... Loving ourselves.
Loving ourselves is the key to our Divinity.
Love opens us to the wonder we carry within us.
It allows all our dreams to come true.
We are going to address the things that we have done in our past that seem so uncomfortable for us to bear. These are things we have put ourselves down about, beat ourselves up for, made ourselves miserable over, and make ourselves less by, each minute we think about them.
There was a Divine Reason for those experiences … Love sees it ... do you?
It is much easier to define God in terms of what God is not ... than it is to define God in terms of what God is. Think about this dear one, there is great wisdom in this statement. This defining process applies to us as well.
It becomes easier
for us to define ... Who We Truly Are and would like to be ... when we re-evaluate the experiences that showed us who we are
not.
This gives us a much clearer picture of what we do not want to express next
time. It is at that moment of feeling unhappy ... that we become aware. We gain a much clearer picture of what not to choose again.
Many times the wiser answer comes easily through this negative experience because it just happens to be the opposite of what we chose to begin with. These particular experiences guide
us in seeing how to change our choices for the better in the future. They show the way to a grander choice of what we would really like to express.
Without these experiences stored within us acting as a reminder ... we would keep
repeating the same patterns over and over.
When we have had experiences in which
we did not seem to express our best ... it becomes important to realize "what" those experiences really did do for us. These experiences left a bad taste in our mouth and perhaps made
us feel bad for they did not work out the way we desired.
Their job was to show us ... how to make grander choices for our future ... and
our job was to notice what we were being shown.
Therefore experiencing who we are
not, is not a bad thing ... but a door-opening event to help us understand who we really would like to be. The only reason we feel bad is because we have not realized the grandeur in it all. These experiences are actually Divine ... for contained within them
is a wonderful gift. The gift is "choice". When we make a grander choice than we did before, our new choice brings about change.
Change becomes the chisel ... that rounds off the rough edges of an unsculptured piece of art ... bringing it to its true
and final beauty.
Dear one ... You are not only the piece of art being sculpted ...
but you are the sculptor!
A negative or bad experience helps us define what we did not like and were not happy with. It helps us "find" something much grander within ourselves that we might not have considered before. It helps us realize
there were different choices available to us … the choices that would have brought what we liked and what would have made us happy in that particular life situation.
These experiences happened for a reason. If
we are wise, we will make a record of what happened ... and use it to our advantage.
Once we realize
what we do not want ... we open to a whole different range of choices … that can help us feel and experience better
next time.
For how can we call forth God Expression in Human Form ... if we cannot define what it is?
We encounter these
negative feelings and experiences to notice there is a grander choice of Love, a better way of feeling and a more beautiful expression awaiting us.
In the case of guilt and unworthiness ... there is a grander choice of Love for ourselves awaiting us.
Each time we choose Love in any expression ... we step more fully into our Divinity. The Divine Plan works in many ways to bring us into our grandness.
So understand, dear one ... even our negative experiences show us the way ... to God Expression in our human form.
As we carry these past experiences and memories around
within us, instead of feeling bad about them ... we need to thank them for what they have really done for us.
They are there to help remind us not to repeat those situations again ... and they also show us
the way to a better expression.
The negative feelings we get from these experiences assist us in making grander choices the next time around … so we will
feel better. Each time they rise within us, they remind us not to repeat that particular action, situation or experience in the same
manner we did before ... if we want to be happy, that is. Negative reminders call out to us saying, "Hey don't forget we learned this before!"
When we take
heed ... we are Re-born ... a new us arises. And it is all because of the awareness we now hold …
due to our past actions and our negative experiences.
So it is time to stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down.
It is way past time to Love yourself and hold a higher consciousness and understanding for your own sake, dear one.
Become gentler to yourself. Allow yourself to have had those experiences ... for they hold much wisdom in what not to do again. You've gone through something. You've learned something. You now see new and grander choices.
All these type of things that you hold and walk around with are not there to torment you ... but they are there to remind you of ... "who you are not" and of the choices not to make again. Negative experiences are not your cross to carry ... they are your Angels holding the Light so you can see clearly in a similar darkened
situation.
It is all about Love ... It Always Was
It is all about finding the Love in a particular situation that challenges us. Love "was the reason" these experiences were presented to us to begin with.
In fact many of life's situations are presented exclusively to see if we can find
the Love. Finding Love for ourselves is one of our hardest challenges. When we find the Love and Love ourselves again ... that particular experience and lesson ends.
Do we know why? Because we now know how to hold the Love being called for … even in the hardest of times. Do we not see it is all a Divine
Plan to get us to our grandest human expression yet? That is, of course, if we do not use those experiences against ourselves.
In any experience in our life all we need to do is find the Love in the experience … along with finding the Love for whomever is involved in it. We are dealt many hands in life ... some of them are pretty drastic and really tough. Our
challenge is to always find the Love, in every situation and experience we are involved in. And most of all it is in finding the Love for ourselves … no matter what we have done.
When we find the
Love ... we feel the Love ... we experience the Love ... and others experience the Love coming from us.
We are here on this planet ... to find, hold and express the Love We Truly Are, no matter what is going on in our life, or around us.
The way we become aware and understand the Love That We Are ... is by going through all those experiences of who we are not.
Negative experiences help us stand on guard ... so we do not repeat the same situation over and over. It is the negative experiences that project us right into Who We Are. It is Love coming as a helpful friend to remind us.
Find the silver lining in any bad experience
and we go past the illusion of anything being bad … into the grand awareness and wisdom hidden as a gift in that particular experience. And it is in this way that negative experiences show us the way to what will serve us grandly in our next experience. This is the way to happiness and feeling good as we go through every situation in our lives. It is in the realization that the negative experience … wasn't really bad at all.
How our negative experiences ... open the doors for us to help others.
When we go to help another but we have not had
that particular experience ourselves ... the one looking for help listens to us in a certain way. But after we explain to this individual that we have gone through the very same experience as he
or she has ... something unique happens in the way this person listens to us from then on.
The door to their heart opens in the most beautiful of ways ... because this person comes to realize we truly do understand ... their feelings, their hurt, their pain ... and their all of it.
To this individual, you become
a genuine teacher... because you also experienced this first hand and survived it. You are able to truly guide this person in how to feel better and make grander choices in their life because of your experience in common.
Isn't it wonderful how it works?
We first come to know Who We Are …
and
then we are given the gift of helping others see ... and step into Who They Are.
So the
next time you cannot find one good thing about a certain experience in your life ask yourself ... Have I stopped and
realized the wisdom, knowledge, clarity, strength and understanding I truly gained from that experience? Do I now see a clearer path to the choices that would have better served me better and
what qualities I need to call on … for who I want to be and express next time?
Do I see how this experience also held a gift in "sculpting me into a teacher" with
much wisdom to share … so I can truly be of service to those that come to me who are having a similar experience?
One special note …
A negative or bad experience is all in the eye of the beholder. It all boils down to the perspective one holds and how they see
the situation.
But in truth … everything serves us, dear one.
It is our perception that determines
if the experience will be held as a positive or negative one. Anything we experience can be looked at in several ways … but know that anything held in a negative way can be looked at positively. It all depends on if we use the mind alone … or if we bring our heart into it as well.
Our challenge is to find the Love, goodness and silver lining ... in every experience no matter how tough it was or may be.
I
would like to share an experience from my life that really shook me up. It is given to help you fully understand a perspective of Love and how things work behind the scenes for our greater good.
Throughout my life I
was presented with many experiences that were geared to get me to speak up for myself. Every time an experience showed up
in my life to get me to do this, I failed to stand up for myself and then more experiences were presented. The reason the experiences kept coming was … I hadn't
found enough Love for myself to honor myself.
At age fifteen my boyfriend raped me. Still very much a child, I was not ready for
a sexual encounter mentally or emotionally. I cried the whole time the rape was happening … but I did not take any other
actions to make him stop. I did not speak up or stand up for myself nor did I protect myself or show resistance in any way. I thought the boy should have known better ... I thought he definitely could see me crying and would know this was not appropriate.
As crazy as
it sounds, I stayed with him for years and any sexual contact we had was like experiencing the rape over and over again.
Every time it happened, I was | | | |
